Dear Teenage Me...

Heather Anne, 

Your 16, and you have the whole world in front of you. 

Your confidant that you can take over the world for Jesus, so am I! I have never met anyone with more passion, more zeal, or more zest for life than you. You run through each thing you do like an exploding fire cracker, dropping sparks of life, starting little fires. Never stop this Heather, your passion is not just a bi-product of the Assembly of God denomination you are a part of. Your passion is ingrained in the sands of your DNA that God put together to be you. 

Your youthfulness and drive are going to be a key chord to you in the next few years.

The future is hard to imagine right now, but I know that you try very hard to imagine it. If I could give you one piece of advice from your not much older self : STOP LIVING FOR WHAT IS TO COME. When it needs to come, it will, but where you are in your life, right now, is so very good. I glean everyday from the stalks of wisdom and study that come from the time you are in right now.

Read the Word, even if your family "catches" you. 

Worship with the last of your breaths. 

Fast and  pray, if you are compelled to fast and pray. 

Journal.

Sing.

 Live in the Spirit. 

The faith that you have right now is yours, and yours alone. It is real and grounded and is becoming the foundation for the rest of your life. 

Follow your convictions, my dear younger self. If the spirit is guiding you to do something, or not do something, listen and respond! I see now how many of your convictions and compulsions were accurate. Don't let any person, or any book tell you opposite of what the spirit is telling you. Follow what you know to be true. Because you DO KNOW. 

You are not too young to know what the spirit is telling you. 

Did you know that you are beautiful? I don't think you do. You are so concerned about your weight, your nails, your comparison to everyone else. Soon you will discover that you are not out of shape, but that you have asthma, I wish you knew that right now! I wish you knew that you could wear girl clothes, that being frumpy is not something you have to do. I wish you knew that you don't have to look like any of your friends. I wish you knew that when you dress up for formal events, that you are not out of place,

 but that you leak femininity. 

You say you never get embarrassed, but the truth is that you are terrified of people discovering the parts of your heart and life you are embarrassed about. Oh Heather, please stop your fearing, and your hiding of your emotions. You are not protecting yourself like the enemy is so loudly trying to convince you of, you are locking away beautiful parts of your soul that are going to be very difficult to dig out in the coming years, I know, I have been digging at them for some time now. You are surrounded by people who want to know you, what you think, how you are struggling. It is OK to struggle. 

Real Christians struggle.

You are a teenage girl, you have emotions and hormones and mood swings; and its OK! You don't have to be anyone else other than who you are. You don't need to be Harmony, or Hallie, or Jessica, or Kerrie. You need to be Heather Anne, 

the Heather Anne that God created you to be. 

I know you are hurting right now, that you have much anger bottled up, but the Lord wants to touch that and to heal. You miss Harmony and Matthew, and you are mad that they are married and not at home any more, but you must know that they are your biggest fans and will become the most dear confidants to you  in the upcoming years. Your angry about church, and the community that seems to be falling apart in front of your eyes, but the Lord has a journey prepared for you that Iris Valley would never have been able to take you on. 

I wish I could tell you : 

Heather is going to remain your best friend, she is one of the most consistent parts of your life.

You will follow your dream and travel over seas. 

You will go to college, and take a math class, even though you vow in opposition. 

You will move to Portland, and love every minute of it. 

You will continue to seek the Lord. 

You will overcome your fear of boys, and start dating a man who loves you more than you comprehend. You will meet new friends, who will take you to a deeper place than even you can imagine. 

Your mama will become a secret garden of joy to you, there will be restoration. 

Your daddy will remain your shield and best cheerer of life. 

Oh Heather, one thing I know is how badly you want a "testimony" for life, you desire something bad to happen so that you have something to share. Well, a terrible travesty will not take place, but you do hold a testimony to the way that you have served the Lord unswerving. The next few years will be the best of your life, but I don't need to tell you to enjoy every moment, because I know that you will.  Go ahead, live that teenage life of ours, live it with joy and zest. Maybe in 8 years, when you are 23, I will have another letter ready for you. 

Love, your not much older self, 

                                         Heather

P.S. Some day, you will very much like the color pink.





I got this idea from the blog challenge from chattatthesky. Please also read my sisters, Harmony and Hallie, blog posts on this topic. I also challenge you to write your own!