The Audacity

So my sister sent me this book for Christmas. Its called “Why isn’t a pretty girl like you married yet?” I opened it and was like, REALLY? And inside there was a little note that read, “Heather, please don’t be offended by the title, this author is one of my favorite…” And so, because it was my sister who gave the book, and she has only ever given great books, I gave it a try… And it was one of the best books I have ever read! I gave up on relationship and singleness books a few years ago. Besides “Passion and Purity” by Elisabeth Elliot, I was tired of empty words of “encouragement” That was not very encouraging, but, this author is amazing!

It is the new house book, the third person is already starting on it, and we are all making notes, I am not sure if there will be any lines left to underline once we are done with it. The thing about the book is that it is brutally honest. And it is not about singleness, not really. It is about being a woman, and how you carry yourself. She is just straight up, and confronting. Sarah said “its like your mom or sister is talking … you want to be defensive at everything she says. You want to yell at her and tell her you WILL NOT try that , when you know you most certainly will.'”

I grew tired of hearing “once you are content being single you will get into a relationship. Show me that in the Bible. But you know what scripture does say? It says love the Lord you God, it says respect your father, it says to work hard and to strive to a life of purity. To cling to the Lord and he will direct your path. To spend your time in his courts. That a father gives good gifts to his children. That he created man and woman to be one. His word is full of promises, but not on a time line. His promises are based upon our obedience, not on completion of tasks. It is not a scavenger hunt that rewards a husband at the end.

This book talked much about guarding your relationships with men, with single men with your friends married husbands, with your fathers. It talked about being a woman who loves the Lord, she encouraged you to seek Him out now. To make habits that will last. To learn how to do things, to clean and study  and enjoy life. She talked about relationships with other girls, and creating boundaries even there, to not be too dependent upon each other, both physically and emotionally. She talked about getting over yourself; rid of selfishness and hatred and bitterness. And she talked on lies. How we make up and believe lies, and we try to convince others of them, “I don’t want to be married, I am happy being single, am too busy for a relationship. If I were really a Christian, I would be able to accept being single. If I were really trusting the Lord, I would have contentment without a relationship.” But, the Lord cant forgive imaginary sin. We feel guilt about things that we shouldn’t feel guilty about and beg him to forgive us, when he is begging us to just trust him and be honest that we are longing. And then, she talked about beautifying. We loved this chapter most. About beautifying yourself, your appearance, your heart, your home, your activities. The Lord loves beauty, and he wants us to enjoy and dwell in that. As young women, we often feel guilty about beauty, feeling like we should wait, saying yes to the some day notion. But, as we read through and discussed this chapter the other night, we all just jumped on it. Yes! Embrace beauty. Now. The way that we carry ourselves and present ourselves and our home.

Anyways, this book has just brought about the beginning of conversations and blogs I am sure.