The grief in it all

My dear friend Sarah has been living in India these past few months. She grew up there when she was little, and moved to America to be with her “home” culture and family again. But for a few months, she got to return to the land of her dreams, this time to teach at the school she was once a student. She has had an amazing trip, and is about to return to America again, where we will get to be roommates for another wonderful season.

In one of our more recent conversations over Facebook, we talked about the strange, interrelatedness of Joy and Grief. How she is so happy being where she is, in the moment she is there, but there is sadness with the thought of leaving. Sadness with watching others who were there with her, leave before she. I talked about the joy of being where I am, at my new school, traveling by bus and capturing well the culture of Portland… and yet my sadness still of missing Multnomah. Of not being an RA to my girls anymore. Or how much fun my life is, and how I am able to remember things about my Grammy… but she is still gone, and there is grief in that.

And so we talked and battled and concluded, though without totally victory, that Joy and Grief CAN co-exist. As a matter of fact, its not that they can, its that they must. In order to really experience and understand joy, we must know and have experienced grief. And to really have and experience grief, we must of had and experienced total joy.

And isn’t this how it is with our Lord? I imagine Jesus, while he was walking on earth, to have been the most joyful man there was! I mean, not only did he KNOW the father, he was part of the father. I mean, talk about joy right there. And yet… he was on earth. I wonder at the grief he must have experienced. When people spit in his face, and denied the father, and choose sin. The grief from being fully human, and experiencing pain, and loss. When Lazarus died, HE WEPT. Jesus wept. The most joyful man alive, was grieved when his friend died, when he had to leave the earth, when people wronged him. I wonder if his grief was deeper even than ours, based upon the fact that he had so much Joy to start with…. And like wise, if his joy on earth was that much greater, because of the depth of grief he had experienced.

Hmmm. Well, from these thoughts, I have concluded, much to the thankful aid of Sarah, that Joy and Grief must co-exist. And it is good. so rather than just focusing on Joy, and pushing out all other emotions, I am curious to see how other things play into this scale… not just the extreme opposites. So for now, this blog is about joy, but please excuse me if it seems to direct away… it will come back. Joy always does.