To sing Hallelujah

I am reading this book called "bittersweet." The author writes short chapters, discussing short chapters within her own life. By using names and telling stories. As I rode the 72 bus this morning on the way to pre-school, I was captivated by a few of the pages that I read.

She wrote about the season she was currently in. About living with her husband and her small son, and being lonely. About how she had just come from a very rough spot, but did not recognize in it the joys of being in it.

"I'm able to see now that what made that season feel so terrible to me were not the changes. What made that season feel so terrible is that I lost track of some of the crucial beliefs and practices that every Christian must carry with them..."

I think about this. How much I say I desire change. It seems though, that when I am in the midst of change (which is like my entire last year), I seem to handle it quite terribly. I have been blaming my terrible attitude on all of the changes, and trying to "handle them." But, this is a very low blow blame. What makes me feel terrible is that I am losing track of some of my crucial beliefs. When I become focused on me, I begin to trust in myself, which shows my distrust in God. Which is like me saying that I do not believe he is good. But He is! He is Good! He is trust worthy! And if I would just let him have it, and not worry about the changes, I think I would find this to not be a terrible season, but a very purifying experience...

She then wrote about a weekend where she flew to California to spend three days with her college friends and their small babies. How they just rejoiced in every single squeezed out moment of lemonade life that weekend. And how if you are still in that season where you live with those people, to continue squeezing out every moment.

I can't help but thinking about the season I am in. I mean, I blog about it practically every day for gosh sake. (http://welaughbecause.wordpress.com/) Because I know that it is good. But, reading her words, about how life will be. How the day will come when we will not all live in the same house... or city for that matter. How we will be spread all over this country and world. How we will rejoice in memories past. I know right now, that I serve a very good God, that he allows such a powder sugar covered season to exist.

I know too, that an end does come to all good things. And because of The Fall, we can not live our lives in secluded community with those relationships close to perfection. We must venture out into the world, furthering His Kingdom. But, there is great peace when I think of eternity. When I think of the word forever, and how very long of a time that is. What a party heaven will be! It would be very selfish for us to keep to ourselves the Joy of our Savior, so we must, for a short time, share of ourselves while here on earth. But, we have a hope, a hope of a day to come when pain and suffering shall exist no more. When the hallelujahs sung to our King are echoing off golden streets. Forever and Ever...

So, while I am in this season of churning change, and powder sugar covered joys, I will trust in my Good God, and share of his perfections, awaiting the day when together we will sing unending Hallelujahs!

At the end of the day...

I know that God is good.

On writing Books

I often use the phrase, "Someday, when I write a book..."

And I proceed to say what I would write. How the instance that just took place would be re-written, and only slightly exaggerated for the readers entertainment. For a long time, I thought I would just write one book, it would be a mix of my thoughts and stories, kind of like Blue like Jazz. But now, there will be three.

1. The first one will be my thoughts. The lessons I have learned over the years, the things that God has just pounded into my heart, and how they changed me into the person I am today.

2. About my Aunts and family dynamics. I am convinced that my mom, 4 aunts and Grammy make up the best combination of women that ever existed. The stories I have from growing up are enough to keep anyone rolling on the ground with chest pains from laughter, and a shirt drenched in tears.

3. This is my new book. About my house. You put 7 girls in one house, who choose to purposefully live life together, and you have a big book of stories. Every day we find ourselves laughing at our life. At its glories, at its poverty, at the Lords goodness. So a new book is on its way... I just need to be writing some of it down so I don't forget in 30 years when I do get a chance to write this book!