To sing Hallelujah

I am reading this book called "bittersweet." The author writes short chapters, discussing short chapters within her own life. By using names and telling stories. As I rode the 72 bus this morning on the way to pre-school, I was captivated by a few of the pages that I read.

She wrote about the season she was currently in. About living with her husband and her small son, and being lonely. About how she had just come from a very rough spot, but did not recognize in it the joys of being in it.

"I'm able to see now that what made that season feel so terrible to me were not the changes. What made that season feel so terrible is that I lost track of some of the crucial beliefs and practices that every Christian must carry with them..."

I think about this. How much I say I desire change. It seems though, that when I am in the midst of change (which is like my entire last year), I seem to handle it quite terribly. I have been blaming my terrible attitude on all of the changes, and trying to "handle them." But, this is a very low blow blame. What makes me feel terrible is that I am losing track of some of my crucial beliefs. When I become focused on me, I begin to trust in myself, which shows my distrust in God. Which is like me saying that I do not believe he is good. But He is! He is Good! He is trust worthy! And if I would just let him have it, and not worry about the changes, I think I would find this to not be a terrible season, but a very purifying experience...

She then wrote about a weekend where she flew to California to spend three days with her college friends and their small babies. How they just rejoiced in every single squeezed out moment of lemonade life that weekend. And how if you are still in that season where you live with those people, to continue squeezing out every moment.

I can't help but thinking about the season I am in. I mean, I blog about it practically every day for gosh sake. (http://welaughbecause.wordpress.com/) Because I know that it is good. But, reading her words, about how life will be. How the day will come when we will not all live in the same house... or city for that matter. How we will be spread all over this country and world. How we will rejoice in memories past. I know right now, that I serve a very good God, that he allows such a powder sugar covered season to exist.

I know too, that an end does come to all good things. And because of The Fall, we can not live our lives in secluded community with those relationships close to perfection. We must venture out into the world, furthering His Kingdom. But, there is great peace when I think of eternity. When I think of the word forever, and how very long of a time that is. What a party heaven will be! It would be very selfish for us to keep to ourselves the Joy of our Savior, so we must, for a short time, share of ourselves while here on earth. But, we have a hope, a hope of a day to come when pain and suffering shall exist no more. When the hallelujahs sung to our King are echoing off golden streets. Forever and Ever...

So, while I am in this season of churning change, and powder sugar covered joys, I will trust in my Good God, and share of his perfections, awaiting the day when together we will sing unending Hallelujahs!

Diamond Stars.

In Portland, you can’t really see the stars. We makes jokes about “seeing THE STAR.” I mean, you can usually see the planets, and the airplanes landing a mile away. It is usually cloudy, and when it is not, I strain my eyes to the sky. But you can’t see stars.

Tonight as I briskly walked home from Multnomah, I looked up at the trees, the ones that are a season behind and still have leafs clinging despite the frozen stillness. And when looked up into the sky, I saw the stars. Like more than one. More than just the planets, and satellites and airplanes. I saw stars. They were crisp and clear and in clusters, I could almost make out where the Milky Way was. I know I couldn’t actually see that … but all my nights of star dazing when at camp in eastern Oregon, it helps me imagine the map of the sky and know where it would be, could I actually see it.

The stars were brilliant in the cold air. They twinkled, and twinkled. Those little stars. I guess that is where the song came from? What was cool, was that the ground mirrored the sky. You know those National Geographic pictures of lakes that mirror a sunset or a mountain? It was like that. But no lake. No mountain. The ground was frozen. And on the ground, there were shinning, and shimmering drops of glory.

I heard a girl say today, that it is like the Lord covers the ground nightly with dew drop diamonds on every last leaflet. Ahh… Yes, that was exactly it. We were one degree below freezing tonight. And those little ice crystals just seemed to jump right out of the sky and onto that grassy lawn.

And I was singing this song. And these lyrics. And it was wonderful.

“Sometimes You're further than the moon
Sometimes You're closer than my skin”

That’s my God for you. Displaying a Tiffany’s just for me to enjoy on my walk home. And tonight, though I saw the moon, he was closer than my skin.